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Monday, December 30, 2019

Charley Reese

     I never heard of Charley Reese (January 29, 1937 – May 21, 2013) until recently, but he seems like somebody that would have been worth knowing.
     Reese was a syndicated columnist known for his conservative views. He was associated with the Orlando (Florida) Sentinel from 1971 to 2001, both as a writer and in various editorial capacities. King Features Syndicate distributed his column, which was published three times per week. Here is his last poem

Tax his land
Tax his bed
Tax the table
At which he's fed

Tax his tractor
Tax his mule
Teach him taxes 
Are the rule

Tax his work
Tax his pay
He works for peanuts anyway! 

Tax his cow
Tax his goat
Tax his pants
Tax his coat
Tax his ties
Tax his shirt 
Tax his work
Tax his dirt

Tax his tobacco
Tax his drink
Tax him if he 
Tries to think

Tax his cigars
Tax his beers
If he cries Tax his tears

Tax his car
Tax his gas
Find other ways 
Taxes to pass 

Tax all he has 
Then let him know 
That you won't be done 
Till he has no dough

When he screams and hollers
Then tax him some more
Tax him till He's good and sore

Then tax his coffin
Tax his grave
Tax the sod in which he's laid... 
Put these words 
Upon his tomb
Taxes drove me to my doom...

When he's gone
Do not relax
Its time to apply 
The inheritance tax

Accounts Receivable 
Tax Building Permit 
Tax CDL license Tax 
Cigarette Tax 
Corporate Income Tax 
Dog License Tax 
Excise Taxes 
Federal Income Tax 
Federal Unemployment Tax 
Fishing License Tax 
Food License Tax 
Fuel Permit Tax 
Gasoline Tax
Gross Receipts Tax 
Hunting License Tax 
Inheritance Tax 
Inventory Tax 
IRS Interest Charges 
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax) 
Liquor Tax 
Luxury Taxes 
Marriage License Tax 
Medicare Tax 
Personal Property Tax 
Property Tax 
Real Estate Tax 
Service Charge Tax 
Social Security Tax 
Road Usage Tax 
Recreational Vehicle Tax 
Sales Tax 
School Tax 
State Income Tax 
State Unemployment Tax 
Telephone Federal Excise Tax 
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes 
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax 
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax 
Telephone State and Local Tax 
Telephone Usage Charge Tax 
Utility Taxes 
Vehicle License Registration Tax 
Vehicle Sales Tax 
Watercraft Registration Tax 
Well Permit Tax 
Workers Compensation Tax 

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? 
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

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